


EQ: Emotional Intelligence

by iluvaqt



Series: Avengers ABCs [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Acceptance, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4607175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iluvaqt/pseuds/iluvaqt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce understands who he is. He hasn't always accepted every part of himself but working with Tony and the Avengers has started to change that. Until he truly lost control. </p><p>Now he knows he can't inflict himself on anyone. So staying with the Bartons is a really bad idea.</p><p>Missing scene from Avengers: Age of Ultron</p>
            </blockquote>





	EQ: Emotional Intelligence

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Purple_Moon123 for proofing the first draft for me. I did make some extra changes so if you find a typo, it's all me.
> 
> Written for Alexabout, who wanted a Bruce-centric piece.

Bruce was always hyper aware of his emotional state. He needed to be. His breathing, his blood pressure, his pulse, everything going on in his body and his head was a careful balance so that he was in-control and not the giant green rage monster, The Other Guy. He was under no illusions about his psychological health however. He was probably the most repressed guy on the planet and how could you treat a multiple personality disorder in which one ego could smash to smithereens on a whim. 

It was that understanding of the delicate balance between control and rage that gave him a moment's panic. Some of the team were occupied cleaning up, Clint was off talking to his wife and had disappeared not long after they'd landed. He was in trouble the second he felt those little hands close around his wrist and tug. Those fragile little bones that would splinter like matchsticks if his heart rate elevated even as little as 10 BPM, and battling down anxiety so soon after his last episode caused him to start to sweat. Which was a warning sign in and of itself.

"Sweetie, you want to let go," he said as gently and calmly as he could manage. His urging seem to have the opposite effect, she tightened her grip. He was still trying to get his mental state in a good place from the number that witch had done on his brain. The Hulk was still highly agitated and it was enough that he could feel the monster's heckles rising. Bruce himself felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to find somewhere quiet and isolated so he could put himself back together mentally. He still couldn't properly comprehend the devastation he'd wrought in Wakanda.

"Come play with me, please," she said in her innocent, pleading voice. Her perfect angel face tilted at just the right angle that she looked adorable, to deny her, you'd have to be inhuman and incapable of tender feelings. 

As much as he wanted to deny it, both he and the Hulk felt too much. That was the problem. The Hulk always felt threatened, angry and afraid. While for Bruce it a cycling feeling of frustration over his inability to undo the changes to his body and the self loathing and insurmountable guilt over the monster's destructive behavior and the devastation the Hulk caused that he was left to confront. And the reality that he truly had no control once the beast was unleashed. The Hulk was his own entity. They were two egos manifest in one chameleon-like body. If a chameleon's skin morphing could ever equal to a mass and density changing, basically invincible Orc creature. 

Obviously Barton hadn't warned his daughter away from him. That or the child really had no sense of self preservation. He needed to dissuade her from her train of thought and fast. "I don't think that's a good idea. Your brother would be way more fun than me. Besides, I'm old and boring."

She smiled at him and gave him sassy piercing look, inclining her head as though questioning if he really believed what he was saying. "He's bawring. Aunty Nat is not bawring. She is your friend, so you're not bawring." 

Bruce blinked uncomprehendingly. Wasn't she like only 4-years-old. He wondered how Clint ever managed to leave the house if his daughter could manipulate and use her innocent wiles like this. Before he could protest any further, she was tugging him in the direction of her playroom. It was a big room with lots of windows and filled with natural light. He could feel how warm it was and it started to chip away at the chill that had clung to him since Tony had managed to subdue the Hulk and he'd woken up in the Hulk's place. 

He wasn't always aware of what was happening when the Hulk was in control. It was emotions that filtered through and sometimes he could hear but he couldn't see and he had never been able to beat back the Hulk if the monster didn't want to let go. That's what scared and motivated him the most to master being in control and work so tirelessly for a cure. At least he had until he'd seen what trusting anyone but himself with his DNA could result in. With the Avengers the Hulk had purpose. He could be useful. Until today, he had been feeling good about the work he was doing with Tony. Now he wasn't so sure about anything.

The littlest Barton patted a tiny wooden chair and took the chair opposite, a table covered in click-building bricks between them. 

"You be Hulk," she said firmly, pressing a big green figurine into his hands. 

Bruce sat on the chair, testing it for durability before he let all his weight on it. It seemed sturdy enough and he studied the character in his hands. Someone had made miniatures of them? He studied the figures scattered across the table, there was one for each of the Avengers. He wondered if they were supposed to get some kind of royalty from someone using their likeness. He snorted inwardly. As if Stark didn't know about it. It was probably a positive endorsement scheme, not to mention profitable for Stark Industries.

"Why can't I be him?" Bruce asked, picking up Hawkeye.

"He's not married. Daddy said Hawk-aye is a wone ranger. Mama said he can sleep in the barn. But dat's not nice. It's cold outside. Will Hulk come to my house?"

Bruce cracked an involuntary smile. He looked at the pink castle, complete with a purple slide that lead to a pretty colorful, brick made garden. "Hulk will sleep outside. He doesn't like pink. He likes green. The grass is green," he offered apropos.

She wrinkled her nose at that. "But where is his girlfriend sleep?"

Bruce almost fell off his chair in shock. Hulk had a girlfriend? That's the first he knew about it. "Ah.. girlfriend?"

The child pressed a girl with a red ponytail, that looked remarkably like Natasha when she'd first been assigned to watching him and she thought she was sneaky enough not to get noticed. The Hulk always knew when he was being watched, which made Bruce in turn, aware of it. He explained it as sort of a sixth sense. It was then that he noticed the Black Widow character was off on her own, riding a motorcycle through the streets of a brick city.

"So Hulk coming to eat inside?"

Bruce blinked, eyeing all his teammate's characters. "Who is Hulk's girlfriend?"

"You can name her," she said quickly, bobbing her head at the girl figurine in his hands. "This is Cap Merica, he is mawied."

Bruce cracked another smile. So Cap had a secret wife too? Possible. After all no one had known Clint had a secret family. Although he had a strong suspicion that a certain blonde would be miffed and unimpressed to hear about it, if that bit of hearsay were true. Before he knew any time had passed, she had roped miniature Hulk into bringing his girlfriend to dinner in her pink castle. They had cupcakes and apple juice, and sat in pink crystal topped chairs, and she had given Hulk the room on the roof. She insisted it was the best, since he could see the sky and the stars are always pretty but he must have a bed. No one is allowed to sleep on the floor. Mama's rules.

That's how Clint found him to tell him that another shower had freed up. The pout and exaggerated sigh she'd given her father had been priceless and caused a sharp pang in Bruce's chest. At one time, long before his exposure to gamma radiation, he'd dreamed of having his own kids someday. Now that would never happen. He would never subject another human being to his struggles, being a target for scrutiny and biological study. Or to be used directly or indirectly through his blood as a bio-weapon for opportunistic and amoral individuals.

As he made to leave the room, her soft little voice gave him pause and stirred the Hulk as well. "Thank you for pawying wid me."

"You're welcome," he said his voice thick and slightly hoarse. He'd blame it on the battering his body had gone through recently if anyone called him on it.

In the hallway, he gave Clint a pointed nod. "She's a great kid. Heart of gold."

"Get's it from her mother," Clint quipped, his lips tipping up at the edges. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans and gestured at the open doorway behind them. "Thanks for indulging her. She's not in pre-school yet and we don't get a lot of company out here."

"Thank you for trusting me." He continued on down the hall quickly in the direction Laura had pointed them to earlier where the guest room and bathroom were. He didn't want to see what Clint's response to that would be. He knew how most people felt about him once they discovered he wasn't always just a mild-mannered scientist. And he didn't want to catch the realization dawn in his teammate's eyes, that he'd just left his daughter in the company of the terrorizing, indestructible monster. 

It was a tad concerning, and something to possibly analyse further at another time, but he got the distinct impression that the Hulk had been quiet and dare he call it, speculative and curious, the entire time he'd been in the child's company.

Granted he hadn't been alone in the company of a child --- ever. Bruce shook his head. It wouldn't do to dwell or test that train of thought. He could barely keep his own life in check. But maybe some day, as a quiet dream he didn't dare give voice or cling to with any kind of real hope, perhaps he could adopt.

Bruce shook his head firmly. That sealed it. He was still under some kind of warped mind control. There was no way, in any reality, that it would ever be safe or responsible, or that any government would allow him to adopt. If it wasn't for the Avengers Initiative and Fury's intervention, he'd have Ross and the Army to worry about. Perhaps he still did and they were only biding their time, waiting for the Avengers Project to fail. At least with his current thought process he knew he was coming back to himself. 

As he gathered the spare clothes Clint had brought him, he realized that he'd actually smiled twice. He caught Natasha's eye as he headed upstairs to the bathroom and nodded at her with what he hoped was a reassuring expression. She had been rattled as much, if not more than he been from what he'd seen when he climbed in the jet. 

It had must have taken a lot for Clint to offer his home to them. It showed just how much he trusted them all and how much he valued the team. Bruce hoped to never compromise that trust, and he would do whatever he could to protect this family, especially the child who had given him cause to smile, however briefly, and remind him that life was worth treasuring.


End file.
